I recently just got a job at the same hotel that Tim works at. This was a last resort sort of job, because I was afraid that working with my husband might make things awkward at work or at home. For anyone who is entering a situation where business and pleasure are combined, (if you are considering dating a coworker, or getting a job at the place where a close friend of significant other already works, or you are helping a friend get a job at your work) here are a few tips I've picked up in the last couple of weeks.
Establish boundaries first! As soon as I got the job, Tim and I had to go over our rules; how we would speak/interact with each other at work. Without establishing these rules, we could have easily run into some problems. The number one rule we established was that we must treat each other like work associates. We speak professionally, not casually or, heaven forbid, romantically while we are on the clock. At first it was a weird adjustment, talking to my husband like a coworker, but with a couple of weeks of practice, I think that we have managed to impress everyone with our flawless ability to work professionally together.
Second, know when, and how, to keep your relationship on the down-low. In my case, Tim is a very well-loved employee, to the managers and to the guests. There have been times when it was appropriate for me to bring up that we are married, but 90% of the time, people don't care, and would rather not know. For example, I picked up a group of ladies from a restaurant, and on the way back to the hotel, they mentioned that Tim was their driver on the way to the restaurant. They talked about how they really liked him, and that they wanted him to be their driver (not a complaint that he wasn't, but rather a comment that they enjoyed his company). It was then that I told them that he was my husband, to which they responded with "Well we better tip you more then!". It was a fun, light conversation, and they were excited to get a ride from both of us. This was one of the rare moments when your associations with another coworker are actually a topic of interest. In other cases, like if someone is not impressed with the friend or S.O. that you work with, it;s best to leave out those details.
Finally, don't let pride get in the way of learning. Since Tim has been with the hotel for 2 years, he had some sound advice for me. If you are anything like me, you know how hard it is to take orders from you husband, so giving up my pride for the sake of the job wasn't easy. I had to drop the wife status, and become and all-ears, know-nothing trainee. It's not easy to drop to that level of humility for your husband, (or best friend, or crush) but letting go and soaking up what I could was the best way to leave a positive impression. Employers like employers that aren't afraid to ask questions. In many cases, having someone on your side can really help at a new job. If I think a certain task could be done differently, I can safely run it by Tim, before risking the possibility of looking like an idiot in from of my boss, or other coworkers. I've got a safety net for my ideas.
The best advice I can give here, is to not mix business and pleasure, until you are sure you can do it without compromising either of the two. Establish your boundaries, and lose the pride. It's possible if you put in the effort.
