Okay, so I've been married for over a year and a half, and just moved into my in-laws house temporarily. It got me thinking about the differences between being single and living at home, and being married and living on your own (with your spouse of course). Here are the top 6.
1) Spare time is not actually spare time. Whether you are both working, or you are the one staying home and being a "homemaker", or you are the one bringing home the bacon, spare time is precious. When you are living with your parents, you have very little responsibility. Even if you have a ton of chores, you still have very little to do. When you are married and on your own, suddenly everything is a mess, dishes are filthy, the laundry needs to be done, the shower curtain is moldy (again), and to add to all that, you have a rodent problem. Keeping a home is more than just chores. It's making your home look and feel the way you want it to, and maintaining that even when you husband constantly leaves his socks on the floor.
2) Income is not for shopping sprees. Seriously, even if you are both working full time, and you are spending less than half of your income on rent, you want to save as much as possible. There are several reasons for this. One, if you are in an apartment, chances are you will be moving every year or every other year. So accumulating useless crap like you used to is just a bad idea, because you end of Goodwilling half your junk when you are trying to pack it all up again. Secondly, you want to be able to take vacations. Seriously, that thing about "traveling the world before kids", its expensive. If you are buying new stuff all the time, you can't count on never going to Europe. Another reason so save, is so you can buy a house. Okay, this one had never crossed my mind until recently. When you buy a house, you have to be able to put down a minimum of 3.5%. That's a lot all at once. so unless you have at least ten grand in savings, you can pretty much assume you'll be living in apartments for a very long time. Finally, the rest of the money you make (after paying rent), seems to just disappear. Bills, food, water, electricity, it all adds up. Fast. Basically you are left with very little cash, which you will hold dear to your heart, and suddenly a 20 dollar T-shirt might as well be Gucci because there ain't no way you're coughing up that much for something you don't really need.
3) You actually have to cook. When I was a teenager, living with parents, each of us had to make dinner once a week. We had help. When you are married, you rely on your instincts and the internet, both of which can be very wrong sometimes. On top of that, due to lack of experience (because one meal a week hardly prepares you for the challenge of three meals a day), makes each meal take an average of 3 times longer than the recipe says it should take. Plus, you are suddenly responsible for your own health, as well as someone else's, so you have to make healthy meals. Trust me, 90% of recipes out there are have almost no nutritional value. Just because it's homemade, doesn't mean it's healthy!
4) You can be naked. One of the best things about being married and living alone is that you can air dry! hallelujah! Seriously, what's worse than trying to get dressed right after a shower and you're all sticky because the bathroom is full of steam? Being able to shower with the door open, and just wander around the house while you dry, has such a freeing effect. To top that, being naked has a positive influence on your self esteem. Before you got married and moved out, the only time you were naked was in the bathroom, so you're stuck in front of a mirror. Being naked in other parts of the house, where there aren't any mirrors to make you hate yourself, you get the experience of just being naked. No one to judge you, not even yourself.
5) Every night is date night! When you live alone, and you are broke, going out is not the easiest thing. Going to a movie seems to create more feelings of financial guilt than anything else, and then you feel like you need to skip a few meals to make up for it. So stay in! Who said a date had to mean leaving the house anyway? On many occasions, Tim and I just took a nap together and called that a date (hey, whatever brings you closer, right?). Making dinner, or dessert together is a date. Watching Netflix is a date. A picnic in the living room is a date! Basically, you can call anything you do together a date, because there is no one around to make it anything else.
6) You can take a nap without making an announcement. Before I got married, taking a nap without any interruptions was a challenge, to say the least. First of all, I'd have to tell everyone beforehand, so they would know to be quiet for a few hours (which would never actually happen). Then I'd have to deal with a wake-up time. Seriously, I had a limit to how long I was allowed to sleep, don't ask me why, I still don't know. Lastly, couch naps were out of the questions. The last time I took a couch nap, I was woken suddenly by the crashing of my younger brother emptying a huge box of Legos onto the floor in front of me, (those things are loud!). But living alone has its napping benefits. You can sleep as long as you need to, interruption free, because the only reason your hubby will wake you up, is because he misses you (which is 100% acceptable, and 100% adorable!).
Basically, the transition from living with parents, to living alone, can be a bit of a shock if you aren't prepared for it. Some of the shock is good, some of it will just be hard. But I like to focus on the benefits ;)
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