The Greatest Gift

For the last year and a half, I have felt completely inadequate when it came to getting gifts for Tim. He would always one-up me! I got him a clock for his birthday, he got me a smartphone. I got him slippers for Christmas, he got me a laptop. It's been that way since the beginning, and I would always tell him that I felt like I didn't get him enough, though he would respond with "your love is the most important gift!"

Men are hard to shop for as it is, but when I ask Tim what he wants for Christmas or birthdays, he always tells me he has everything he wants! I've come to realize that all he wants, is for me to give him my time. Try new things with him, play games, go out on dates, etc. I'm only now realizing that material gifts don't matter to him as much as experiences and relationships. He cares more about building our relationship, and building memories, than he does about any gadget or game. Now there's the true meaning of Christmas!

This year, instead of making a list, and instead of getting each other gifts, we got one gift to share between us. It could have been a new TV, or it could have been a bag of popcorn. Either way, it is a gift that we will enjoy together. It goes beyond that material value of the object, it's so much more than just a present. We are finally on equal ground, and we get to experience that together.

I'm so glad Tim has been an example to me of what it means to give. It truly is the thought that counts. There is so much more to Christmas than presents. Its about spending time together, and remembering what we are truly celebrating. We celebrate the birth of a man who literally gave his life for us, and atoned for our sins so that we don't have to. Christ didn't get us a new smartphone, or a new laptop, he gave us a divine example to follow, and he gave us an opportunity to return to our Heavenly Father. Knowing I am loved, and that people really enjoy spending time with me is such a powerful gift.

Give the gift of time this season. Show people you love them, make memories together, enjoy each others company. This is not the season to get together with family out of obligation. It is the season to get together with family because you love them. It is the season to put aside all of the problems you might have, and forgive. It is the season to give second chances, and to love one another the way that God loves us.

Merry Christmas!

Best Friends Forever

When I was 14, my ward was planning a pioneer trek reenactment. As soon as I heard about it, and how it would last 4 days with no phones, no plumbing, long dresses and hiking in sage brush and tall grass, I had decided I was NOT going. It was a final decision. I hated tall grass, I actually had fear of it. I got allergies, I did not like the idea of being assigned to a group of people that I didn't know, and I especially didn't like the idea of being around boys who hadn't showered in 4 days. It basically just sounded awful, and the more I heard about it, the more I was sure I wasn't going.

For weeks, the signups were passed around, and each time I insisted that I wasn't interested. Now this is where it gets interesting; about a week after the final deadline, I suddenly got the desire to go. I have no idea when my mind changed, or what made me decide to actually do it, but I'm sure it was God nudging me in the right direction. Even a week late, they let me sign up, and I had to rush to get everything together.

When I arrived, at 5 a.m. on the day of departure, my worst fear came true: I was placed in a group with literally nobody that I knew. Well, as the rest of the group arrived, I looked over and noticed someone. I recognized him. Ah, yes! I have someone in my ward at least! I didn't know his name, but I was pretty sure he was the older brother of one of my friends.

This guy that I saw, was Tim. I didn't know then (though a week later I was sure of it) that he would become my very best friend, and then one day my husband! Whenever I think about it, I wonder if I would have met him had I not gone on Trek. Or if he had told me the truth about his age when I first met him (he told everyone he was 17, when really he was 18). When I think about it, every little thing that happened, lead up to us becoming what we are now.

That is what I am thankful for this Thanksgiving. I am so thankful that I was inspired to go, and I am so thankful that we were assigned to the same group, with no one else we knew. That trip gave me so much. I met my husband there, and for that I will always be thankful.

Above is one of the pictures taken at Trek. When I look at all the pictures of our group, Tim and I are always next to each other. You could say I was drawn to him :)

I Thought I Was Past That!

On our anniversary trip to Disneyland, we found out that married couples are considered "newly-weds" for 24 months. I thought I was past that!

Well, since I'm still a newly-wed, I figured I would continue the whole "Things I learn As a Newly-Wed" thing.

So we've hit this point in our marriage, where people no longer say "congratulations", but rather, they make some strange comments... Comments like, "They're newly-weds, that's why they still talk to each other," and "You're considered a newly-wed for 2 years, then it's all down hill from there!"

This sort of bothered me. Why would anyone say something like that? I feel like our culture has some very mixed feelings about marriage. Half the time people are excited about it, I mean, look at Pinterest. And the other half of the time, people seem to think marriage is just a ball and chain.

One thing I have certainly learned, is that marriage is a beautiful gift. It doesnt "bind" you unless you don't want to be in it. When you love the person you marry, marriage frees you. It is the ultimate expression of love and trust. It is so much more than a contract.

I intend to keep thinking of my marriage as a blessing. I won't let routine make this union any less special. I was blessed to find the love of my life at such a young age, and despite what American culture seems to think of young marriage, I feel like I am in the right place.

One of the most important things in any relationship, is to value it. Nurture the relationship, and always feel grateful. Having one person by your side for eternity is such an amazing thing. I will never be without a best friend. When I said yes, I made my choice verbally and  legally. Each day I must make my choice spiritually.

My One and Only

In my teen years, I didn't really buy into the idea that there was only one person for me. I still don't think that's the case for most people, but dang, my life just wouldn't be complete if I'd never met Tim. Even when we were engaged, I still believed that love is a choice, you are capable or being happy with basically anyone. But when we got married, and over the course of the year, I've realized that Tim is the only person I can truly be myself with.

Tim and I have fun. He brings out the crazy, fun-loving child in me. He is more than just a best friend, we were destined to meet in this life and be together forever. There is no one in the whole world like him. He is perfect for me.

Being married has taught me so much about love; I don't even know where to begin. He has taught me trust, patience, generosity, sincerity, tenderness, and so much more. I've grown so much as a person, and yet we can still just let go and be kids. Marriage has taught me that I don't always have to be so serious. I'm allowed to be silly, I'm allowed to be myself. It has taught me that I can express myself, and I can feel what I feel and not be ashamed, because he will always support and love me.

Marriage has also taught me that time is precious. It goes by way too fast, and we lose so much of it looking forward, and focusing on what we want, and what we plan to do. It's so easy to get distracted with counting down til Friday, when we really need to just look at where we currently are, and soak it up! Life is too short, time goes by too fast, we get older, and we let all this happen without notice.

My focus on our second year of marriage is to take time each and every day to look where I am standing, take it in, and enjoy it. Good days and bad. Because I have everything I could ever hope for in a husband, and that alone should make each day the best day of my life. This next year, I am going to write down one thing each day that made life amazing. Amazing. Because even on the worst days, it only takes one moment, with the right attitude, to make it amazing.

Tim and I are 11 days away from our first anniversary, and I feel as though I have let it go by as if it were just a good year. It have been amazing, and I have let almost every day end either good, or okay. I have my very own "The One", and I need to make sure each day reflects how happy I am with him.

Life is short, and life is good. Make it amazing, and make it count.

Day One: The Stuff That No One Tells You

During our engagement, a lot of people liked to throw advice our way, about marriage as well as the wedding. But there are several things that no one told me about the wedding, that I think I would have liked to know.

1: That first dance that's so romantic and beautiful? So. Awkward. Seriously, unless you learned some legitimate steps, and have a killer performance, its awkward. Everyone stares at you, and takes pictures, and you have to endure three to four minutes of that, while repeating the three moves you know. Yes, it is beautiful and romantic, but mostly for the people watching.

2: Pictures. You will likely look like a moron in half of them. NO ONE told me anything like this. I was under the impression that, since it was my wedding day, my lack of ability to look amazing in pictures would be put on hold. Nope. Still not photogenic. On the plus side, my hair and makeup were done professionally, and I always had a killer background, to even the ones where my double chin snuck in, I can still pretend the picture is flawless.

3: Kissing. This is the only day, like ever, that people want to see you kiss. Seriously, it is so weird. If you're not one for PDA, this can be really awkward, and even a little irritating, especially when people ask you to kiss. And even when you think no one is really watching, someone is probably taking a picture. It's like for one day you are a celebrity, so unless you love attention, get ready to be bombarded with smiling faces and congratulatory hugs.

4: And this one is more about the next day. Don't plan anything before 3:00 p.m. the next day. Because the one thing people actually do tell you, is that you won't get any sleep the night before the wedding. And then you throw in the fact that you won't actually fall asleep on the wedding night until the wee hours of the morning, so yeah, there will be a lot of sleep to catch up on. Tim and I planned to go to Newport Beach the day after the wedding, (it was only a five minute drive from the hotel) and we barely made it in time to see the sun set.

So there you have it, a small list of things that no one ever tells you about the wedding day. So my advice would be to pick a short song, or learn some killer moves, keep your picture-ruiners in mind (if you have a sneaky double chin like me, just remember that, and keep the angles in mind that make it show), just endure all the googly-eyed stares as you kiss, 'cause there is no way to avoid that, and like I said, don't make plans for the next morning. Your wedding day is the most exciting and beautiful day of your like (thus far), and you don't want to deal with the stress of getting up early the next day, so take your time. Really soak it in. Its not about checking items off your to-do list; all the planning stopped the moment you woke up (or just got out of bed, if you didn't sleep) to get ready for your wedding. You planned for months, now go and enjoy your stress-free vacation!

A worthy example of number 2.

Business and Pleasure

I recently just got a job at the same hotel that Tim works at. This was a last resort sort of job, because I was afraid that working with my husband might make things awkward at work or at home. For anyone who is entering a situation where business and pleasure are combined, (if you are considering dating a coworker, or getting a job at the place where a close friend of significant other already works, or you are helping a friend get a job at your work) here are a few tips I've picked up in the last couple of weeks.

Establish boundaries first! As soon as I got the job, Tim and I had to go over our rules; how we would speak/interact with each other at work. Without establishing these rules, we could have easily run into some problems. The number one rule we established was that we must treat each other like work associates. We speak professionally, not casually or, heaven forbid, romantically while we are on the clock. At first it was a weird adjustment, talking to my husband like a coworker, but with a couple of weeks of practice, I think that we have managed to impress everyone with our flawless ability to work professionally together.

Second, know when, and how, to keep your relationship on the down-low. In my case, Tim is a very well-loved employee, to the managers and to the guests. There have been times when it was appropriate for me to bring up that we are married, but 90% of the time, people don't care, and would rather not know. For example, I picked up a group of ladies from a restaurant, and on the way back to the hotel, they mentioned that Tim was their driver on the way to the restaurant. They talked about how they really liked him, and that they wanted him to be their driver (not a complaint that he wasn't, but rather a comment that they enjoyed his company). It was then that I told them that he was my husband, to which they responded with "Well we better tip you more then!". It was a fun, light conversation, and they were excited to get a ride from both of us. This was one of the rare moments when your associations with another coworker are actually a topic of interest. In other cases, like if someone is not impressed with the friend or S.O. that you work with, it;s best to leave out those details.

Finally, don't let pride get in the way of learning. Since Tim has been with the hotel for 2 years, he had some sound advice for me. If you are anything like me, you know how hard it is to take orders from you husband, so giving up my pride for the sake of the job wasn't easy. I had to drop the wife status, and become and all-ears, know-nothing trainee. It's not easy to drop to that level of humility for your husband, (or best friend, or crush) but letting go and soaking up what I could was the best way to leave a positive impression. Employers like employers that aren't afraid to ask questions. In many cases, having someone on your side can really help at a new job. If I think a certain task could be done differently, I can safely run it by Tim, before risking the possibility of looking like an idiot in from of my boss, or other coworkers. I've got a safety net for my ideas.

The best advice I can give here, is to not mix business and pleasure, until you are sure you can do it without compromising either of the two. Establish your boundaries, and lose the pride. It's possible if you put in the effort.

Not Bored Yet

My relationship with my husband is the longest romantic relationship I have ever had. A major fear that people have about getting married young, is that things will change, you'll get bored of each other, you'll actually learn about each other, and you may not like what you learn. Well, There's a strategy to avoid these things.

Something I have learned about being married, is that the "honeymoon" eventually wears off. You start actually watching movies together, and you start to actually talk and get to know each other. This can be dangerous. In my case, I was lucky enough to know Tim for a very long time before we got married, and after we got married, I was lucky enough to like the new things I'd learned about him. Most people aren't this lucky, though. So the key, is to quit making out so much and TALK!

Develop habits, good ones. Communication is key. When Tim and I got back from our honeymoon, and got back to real life, I began making it a daily habit to ask him what makes him happy each day. When we go to bed at night, I ask him this question and I listen to the answers he gives me. This is beneficial in a few ways; I get to learn more about the things he enjoys, the day to day things that are important in his life. I am also giving him the opportunity to tell me about his day, highlighting on the positive things that happened. I have noticed that this generally improves a crappy day, or tops off a great one.

Another habit we have recently formed, is listing off all the little things that make a good day, as they happen. These are often as small as seeing a bunny in the yard, or hitting a traffic light as it turns green. This puts us both in a really great mood, and instantly cheers us up when we are in a bad one.

My point is, I've known Tim for 6 years, and I am not bored yet! We are constantly experiencing new things together, because we make the effort to do so. You can never run out of things to say, if you are always looking for the good in life. And when you take the time to hear what the other has to say, ('cause we all know how much we like to talk about ourselves) you'll find that you have a really interesting book that never actually ends. Okay, weird metaphor, but you get the idea.

To me, Tim is always interesting, and always fun to talk to. Everyone is, you just have to ask the right questions, and care enough to listen. Put the other person first, and you'll find that your needs are being met, and that you truly can be happy with just one person for the rest of your life. Make goals together, talk together, experience life together. That's why we are given companionship, so don't get bored of it!

Creativity Makes My Dinner

I don't really want to make this into a recipe blog, but when you are limited to just a toaster oven, microwave, Crock Pot, and skillet, you tend to get a little creative with cooking. May I present to you, the slow cooked artichoke!

Seeing as a pair of artichokes don't cook well in a toaster oven (not to my liking anyway), I had to get acquainted with the Crock Pot.

2 Artichokes
2 cups water
1 cup ACV
1 lemon
1/2 cup Olive Oil
And seasonings to taste (I used minced garlic, salt and pepper). First you put the water in the bottom of the pot, it should be about 2 inches deep. Then you put the artichokes stem-down in the Crock Pot (after cutting all for half an inch of the stems off, and cutting the top inch off the artichokes. Trim the leaves too). Then pour the apple cider vinegar (ACV) over the top of the artichokes. rum the lemon halves on the top of the artichokes, then squeeze the juice over them. Then put seasonings on top of the artichokes, then pour the oil over top (this pushes all the seasonings down between the leaves, and helps keep the artichoke moist). Cover, and cook for 3 to 4 hours.

For the dip I just combined mayo with paprika and cheese. You can also dip it in butter, eat it plain, or dip in plain mayo. The vinegar adds a nice strong flavor, so you may not even need a dip :)

This is just one of many recipes I have discovered in the last nine months. Working in a kitchen that is actually significantly smaller than those in most RVs, I have resorted to creativity. I never knew so much could be made in the Crock Pot! I was always under the impression that Crock Pot dinners were huge and fancy. As it turns out, even the simplest things can be made in the Crock Pot, and 90% of the time its the best way to cook!

In addition to the easiness of it, Crock Pot foods are easy to alter to your taste buds. If you don't like apple cider vinegar, go with red wine vinegar, or straight red wine! Basically, there is no set recipe for creativity. I've learned to be adventurous, and while I'm still childless, I can be bold and not worry about upsetting too many people! Plus cooking for two allows for more waste. Its much easier to throw away two servings of yuck, than a whole family's worth.

I've learned to enjoy cooking. Growing up, I had to follow recipes. I thought they were rules. Now I know they are guidelines; mere suggestions. Once you get the idea of what goes with what, you can spin the wheel! Who needs a cook book when you've got creativity cooking for you?

My Fair (Pinterest) Wedding.

For those of you who are engaged, or rather, anyone not married yet, have a Pinterest wedding before your real wedding.

I'm one of the few girls my age who took a while to get into Pinterest, and having a MASSIVE cluster of ideas would have been very helpful in the planning process. The most important one being wedding photos. When I was making a list of the specific photos I absolutely had to have, it never even crossed my mind to look up a list of common wedding photo poses. Looking at Pinterest now, I see all the other girls my age posting onto their dream wedding board, and discover several things I wish I had thought of before the big day.

When you are engaged, go nuts with the Pinterest wedding. Seriously, that's what Pinterest is for, for a huge scrapbook of ideas all in one place. You'll really appreciate the easy access to thousands of ideas, and it can even help save some money.

If I had gotten into Pinterest before the wedding, I would have gotten a lot more pictures. I forgot so many of the basics! I would have loved to have a picture of me with all my new brothers-in-law. Or a picture of me with just my siblings.

My biggest regret was not getting a picture of just me and Tim with the Seattle Temple (where we were married) in the background. That was one of the most basic pictures, and it totally escaped my mind.

Don't just make a list and assume you've got it all. The wedding only happens once, and its important you get your dream. You know that old saying "measure once, cut twice"? Well that sort of applies to this. Make one list and you'll leave something out, but its pretty hard not to get what you want when you've got about 30 different wedding cakes to reference, and some really fun centerpiece ideas.

In the end, its the marriage that counts, but having your dream wedding, or as close to it as possible, comes in close second.

Gratitude Is Everything

"What's for dinner?"; the world's most disguised form of "thank you". We overlook this phrase a lot. It can even get pretty annoying. But to me, this phrase means a lot more than what it says. To me it means " I trust you to make something good", or "thank you in advance for the dinner you are going to prepare". Tim has started to ask me this question, and I've noticed that he eats whatever I prepare, and thanks me for it, whether the concoction was a success or a miserable failure.

Knowing that what you are doing for other people is appreciated is one of the greatest feelings in the world, and is so important in a successful marriage. Getting so used to this feeling of being appreciated is what constantly reminds me to be thankful of everything Tim does for me, especially the day-to-day chores that usually go unnoticed. 

Since being married, I've learned to really look for things to be thankful for, because on the off chance I don't notice something Tim does for me, it puts a damper on his day. Being on the lookout for things to be appreciative of has been something that lightens each day. When we look for the good in life, we notice more of it. People find what they are looking for, and when you look for the good, you find it.

Thank your spouse for going to work. For washing the dishes, for taking out the trash, or for taking off their shoes before entering the house after you've just mopped. These small things are the things we need to remember to express gratitude for. 

A grateful attitude makes for a generous person. If you are willing to thank people for what they do, you are more inclined to serve with a happy heart. 

9 Months Late

Okay, so the title is a little misleading, but now that I've been married for 9 months, I really wish that I had kept a record of everything I have learned in the beginnings of an everlasting companionship.

Tim and I have spent the beginning of our marriage in the tiniest make-shift apartment imaginable, and those who have seen it know that when I compare it to an office cubicle, I am hardly exaggerating. But the size is not the real kicker here; our first home has no internal doors.

I grew up sharing a room, and I almost always hated it. I had to really fight to claim my personal space. I thought that when I got married, I would be able to spread out, and know that my space was my own. Boy was I wrong! Not only do I have to share the limited space we have, but I also have to take into account that he may not like having cook books on display. Living in a home with no doors, not even a bathroom door, had really taught me to share my space. But more importantly, it had taught me to live with another person.

In my youth, I was told, on many occasions, that the first year of marriage is spend getting used to living with your spouse. Well let me tell ya, living in an office cubicle with nothing but a curtain to separate us, I have definitely gotten used to living with Tim. I have learned that the smaller the space is that you have to share, the better you get at sharing it.

This hasn't always been easy. When we first moved in, we debated how we would organize (of the two arrangement options). I had a vision, and so did he. I'd set it up one way, only to have him switch it around during one of his "cleaning" sprees. In the end, though, I decided his arrangement made more sense, and went with it. In the end, we wound up with a home decorated to both of our liking.

In my experiences with Tim over the last 9 months, I have gotten used to his patterns, and he's gotten used to mine. When our sleeping patterns don't sync up, we respect each others' needs, and keep quiet. We take turns, we share our time and space, and we work together as a team. I've gotten used to living with him, because we've truly had to live together!

In fine, I have learned some of the most valuable lessons in life, in such a short time. Something I was never able to pick up on in my childhood of sharing a room. I've learned to make compromises, and I've learned that when you truly allow yourself to care about what the other person wants, both can be happy.

No doors, no barriers. We are one, and we are happy.