9 Months Late

Okay, so the title is a little misleading, but now that I've been married for 9 months, I really wish that I had kept a record of everything I have learned in the beginnings of an everlasting companionship.

Tim and I have spent the beginning of our marriage in the tiniest make-shift apartment imaginable, and those who have seen it know that when I compare it to an office cubicle, I am hardly exaggerating. But the size is not the real kicker here; our first home has no internal doors.

I grew up sharing a room, and I almost always hated it. I had to really fight to claim my personal space. I thought that when I got married, I would be able to spread out, and know that my space was my own. Boy was I wrong! Not only do I have to share the limited space we have, but I also have to take into account that he may not like having cook books on display. Living in a home with no doors, not even a bathroom door, had really taught me to share my space. But more importantly, it had taught me to live with another person.

In my youth, I was told, on many occasions, that the first year of marriage is spend getting used to living with your spouse. Well let me tell ya, living in an office cubicle with nothing but a curtain to separate us, I have definitely gotten used to living with Tim. I have learned that the smaller the space is that you have to share, the better you get at sharing it.

This hasn't always been easy. When we first moved in, we debated how we would organize (of the two arrangement options). I had a vision, and so did he. I'd set it up one way, only to have him switch it around during one of his "cleaning" sprees. In the end, though, I decided his arrangement made more sense, and went with it. In the end, we wound up with a home decorated to both of our liking.

In my experiences with Tim over the last 9 months, I have gotten used to his patterns, and he's gotten used to mine. When our sleeping patterns don't sync up, we respect each others' needs, and keep quiet. We take turns, we share our time and space, and we work together as a team. I've gotten used to living with him, because we've truly had to live together!

In fine, I have learned some of the most valuable lessons in life, in such a short time. Something I was never able to pick up on in my childhood of sharing a room. I've learned to make compromises, and I've learned that when you truly allow yourself to care about what the other person wants, both can be happy.

No doors, no barriers. We are one, and we are happy.