Not Bored Yet

My relationship with my husband is the longest romantic relationship I have ever had. A major fear that people have about getting married young, is that things will change, you'll get bored of each other, you'll actually learn about each other, and you may not like what you learn. Well, There's a strategy to avoid these things.

Something I have learned about being married, is that the "honeymoon" eventually wears off. You start actually watching movies together, and you start to actually talk and get to know each other. This can be dangerous. In my case, I was lucky enough to know Tim for a very long time before we got married, and after we got married, I was lucky enough to like the new things I'd learned about him. Most people aren't this lucky, though. So the key, is to quit making out so much and TALK!

Develop habits, good ones. Communication is key. When Tim and I got back from our honeymoon, and got back to real life, I began making it a daily habit to ask him what makes him happy each day. When we go to bed at night, I ask him this question and I listen to the answers he gives me. This is beneficial in a few ways; I get to learn more about the things he enjoys, the day to day things that are important in his life. I am also giving him the opportunity to tell me about his day, highlighting on the positive things that happened. I have noticed that this generally improves a crappy day, or tops off a great one.

Another habit we have recently formed, is listing off all the little things that make a good day, as they happen. These are often as small as seeing a bunny in the yard, or hitting a traffic light as it turns green. This puts us both in a really great mood, and instantly cheers us up when we are in a bad one.

My point is, I've known Tim for 6 years, and I am not bored yet! We are constantly experiencing new things together, because we make the effort to do so. You can never run out of things to say, if you are always looking for the good in life. And when you take the time to hear what the other has to say, ('cause we all know how much we like to talk about ourselves) you'll find that you have a really interesting book that never actually ends. Okay, weird metaphor, but you get the idea.

To me, Tim is always interesting, and always fun to talk to. Everyone is, you just have to ask the right questions, and care enough to listen. Put the other person first, and you'll find that your needs are being met, and that you truly can be happy with just one person for the rest of your life. Make goals together, talk together, experience life together. That's why we are given companionship, so don't get bored of it!

Creativity Makes My Dinner

I don't really want to make this into a recipe blog, but when you are limited to just a toaster oven, microwave, Crock Pot, and skillet, you tend to get a little creative with cooking. May I present to you, the slow cooked artichoke!

Seeing as a pair of artichokes don't cook well in a toaster oven (not to my liking anyway), I had to get acquainted with the Crock Pot.

2 Artichokes
2 cups water
1 cup ACV
1 lemon
1/2 cup Olive Oil
And seasonings to taste (I used minced garlic, salt and pepper). First you put the water in the bottom of the pot, it should be about 2 inches deep. Then you put the artichokes stem-down in the Crock Pot (after cutting all for half an inch of the stems off, and cutting the top inch off the artichokes. Trim the leaves too). Then pour the apple cider vinegar (ACV) over the top of the artichokes. rum the lemon halves on the top of the artichokes, then squeeze the juice over them. Then put seasonings on top of the artichokes, then pour the oil over top (this pushes all the seasonings down between the leaves, and helps keep the artichoke moist). Cover, and cook for 3 to 4 hours.

For the dip I just combined mayo with paprika and cheese. You can also dip it in butter, eat it plain, or dip in plain mayo. The vinegar adds a nice strong flavor, so you may not even need a dip :)

This is just one of many recipes I have discovered in the last nine months. Working in a kitchen that is actually significantly smaller than those in most RVs, I have resorted to creativity. I never knew so much could be made in the Crock Pot! I was always under the impression that Crock Pot dinners were huge and fancy. As it turns out, even the simplest things can be made in the Crock Pot, and 90% of the time its the best way to cook!

In addition to the easiness of it, Crock Pot foods are easy to alter to your taste buds. If you don't like apple cider vinegar, go with red wine vinegar, or straight red wine! Basically, there is no set recipe for creativity. I've learned to be adventurous, and while I'm still childless, I can be bold and not worry about upsetting too many people! Plus cooking for two allows for more waste. Its much easier to throw away two servings of yuck, than a whole family's worth.

I've learned to enjoy cooking. Growing up, I had to follow recipes. I thought they were rules. Now I know they are guidelines; mere suggestions. Once you get the idea of what goes with what, you can spin the wheel! Who needs a cook book when you've got creativity cooking for you?

My Fair (Pinterest) Wedding.

For those of you who are engaged, or rather, anyone not married yet, have a Pinterest wedding before your real wedding.

I'm one of the few girls my age who took a while to get into Pinterest, and having a MASSIVE cluster of ideas would have been very helpful in the planning process. The most important one being wedding photos. When I was making a list of the specific photos I absolutely had to have, it never even crossed my mind to look up a list of common wedding photo poses. Looking at Pinterest now, I see all the other girls my age posting onto their dream wedding board, and discover several things I wish I had thought of before the big day.

When you are engaged, go nuts with the Pinterest wedding. Seriously, that's what Pinterest is for, for a huge scrapbook of ideas all in one place. You'll really appreciate the easy access to thousands of ideas, and it can even help save some money.

If I had gotten into Pinterest before the wedding, I would have gotten a lot more pictures. I forgot so many of the basics! I would have loved to have a picture of me with all my new brothers-in-law. Or a picture of me with just my siblings.

My biggest regret was not getting a picture of just me and Tim with the Seattle Temple (where we were married) in the background. That was one of the most basic pictures, and it totally escaped my mind.

Don't just make a list and assume you've got it all. The wedding only happens once, and its important you get your dream. You know that old saying "measure once, cut twice"? Well that sort of applies to this. Make one list and you'll leave something out, but its pretty hard not to get what you want when you've got about 30 different wedding cakes to reference, and some really fun centerpiece ideas.

In the end, its the marriage that counts, but having your dream wedding, or as close to it as possible, comes in close second.

Gratitude Is Everything

"What's for dinner?"; the world's most disguised form of "thank you". We overlook this phrase a lot. It can even get pretty annoying. But to me, this phrase means a lot more than what it says. To me it means " I trust you to make something good", or "thank you in advance for the dinner you are going to prepare". Tim has started to ask me this question, and I've noticed that he eats whatever I prepare, and thanks me for it, whether the concoction was a success or a miserable failure.

Knowing that what you are doing for other people is appreciated is one of the greatest feelings in the world, and is so important in a successful marriage. Getting so used to this feeling of being appreciated is what constantly reminds me to be thankful of everything Tim does for me, especially the day-to-day chores that usually go unnoticed. 

Since being married, I've learned to really look for things to be thankful for, because on the off chance I don't notice something Tim does for me, it puts a damper on his day. Being on the lookout for things to be appreciative of has been something that lightens each day. When we look for the good in life, we notice more of it. People find what they are looking for, and when you look for the good, you find it.

Thank your spouse for going to work. For washing the dishes, for taking out the trash, or for taking off their shoes before entering the house after you've just mopped. These small things are the things we need to remember to express gratitude for. 

A grateful attitude makes for a generous person. If you are willing to thank people for what they do, you are more inclined to serve with a happy heart. 

9 Months Late

Okay, so the title is a little misleading, but now that I've been married for 9 months, I really wish that I had kept a record of everything I have learned in the beginnings of an everlasting companionship.

Tim and I have spent the beginning of our marriage in the tiniest make-shift apartment imaginable, and those who have seen it know that when I compare it to an office cubicle, I am hardly exaggerating. But the size is not the real kicker here; our first home has no internal doors.

I grew up sharing a room, and I almost always hated it. I had to really fight to claim my personal space. I thought that when I got married, I would be able to spread out, and know that my space was my own. Boy was I wrong! Not only do I have to share the limited space we have, but I also have to take into account that he may not like having cook books on display. Living in a home with no doors, not even a bathroom door, had really taught me to share my space. But more importantly, it had taught me to live with another person.

In my youth, I was told, on many occasions, that the first year of marriage is spend getting used to living with your spouse. Well let me tell ya, living in an office cubicle with nothing but a curtain to separate us, I have definitely gotten used to living with Tim. I have learned that the smaller the space is that you have to share, the better you get at sharing it.

This hasn't always been easy. When we first moved in, we debated how we would organize (of the two arrangement options). I had a vision, and so did he. I'd set it up one way, only to have him switch it around during one of his "cleaning" sprees. In the end, though, I decided his arrangement made more sense, and went with it. In the end, we wound up with a home decorated to both of our liking.

In my experiences with Tim over the last 9 months, I have gotten used to his patterns, and he's gotten used to mine. When our sleeping patterns don't sync up, we respect each others' needs, and keep quiet. We take turns, we share our time and space, and we work together as a team. I've gotten used to living with him, because we've truly had to live together!

In fine, I have learned some of the most valuable lessons in life, in such a short time. Something I was never able to pick up on in my childhood of sharing a room. I've learned to make compromises, and I've learned that when you truly allow yourself to care about what the other person wants, both can be happy.

No doors, no barriers. We are one, and we are happy.