Remember in high school, when you would steal your boyfriend's jacket and wear it until it stopped smelling like him? Well, I just realized that I haven't done that since I got married. So what did I do? I grabbed Tim's hoodie from off of the floor (because husbands don't hang up their clothes), sprayed it with the cologne he brought on our honeymoon, and I snuggled up in it. Just because I am married to him, it doesn't mean I have to give up the little things I enjoyed while we were dating!
I'm living the dream. So much so, that I sometimes forget that it's real! Every now and then I get a glimpse of reality, where I just sit and think "whoa, I'm married. I'm an adult. And I am married to the man of my dreams!". I sometimes forget that life doesn't have to be routine. I don't have to do things by the book. I can be adult and still be a kid. I can wear the darn hoodie, and I can wash it and then spray the crap out of it with my perfume, just to tease him.
Sometimes we let the stresses and responsibilities of life get in the way of our relationships. We get boring, and then we get bored. We stop wearing each other's clothes, and we stop dressing up for dates, we don't shave as often, and we give up those little things we did to attract the other.
Just because your job is routine, doesn't mean you have to be. Mix it up. Be ready at any given moment for some spontaneity. Surprise each other. Make that extra effort that you did while you were dating. Marriage is not the end reward, it is no the finish line, it is just another step. Don't stop impressing each other.
Don't put your relationship on the back-burner. Don't let it get old, or boring. Those cute things you would do while you were dating? Do them. Take those annoying selfies, write those sappy Facebook statuses about each other. Celebrate each month of your relationship! Tell your friends about the flowers he bought you, and the cake your made for him.
Don't stop dating, just because you are married. Love doesn't just sit still, it either grows a little, or dies a little. Are you going to feed it, or let it starve?
Friday, March 7, 2014
Thursday, February 13, 2014
Sharing is Caring
Happy Valentine's Day! In the spirit of the holiday, I'm going to talk about love! In everyone's new favorite Disney movie, Frozen, Olaf describes love as putting someone else's needs before your own. I've learned a lot about that lately.
When I was a kid, my siblings and I sucked at sharing. When we had to split a doughnut, the rule was "you cut I choose", which forced us to try and split it perfectly down the middle, because that LAST thing any of us wanted was for the other sibling to have the bigger half. So kind, right?
As an adult, things have drastically changed. We now choose the smaller half, so that we can offer the larger half to the person we are sharing with. An expression of love. But Tim and I have formed our own, lovey-dovey version.
Ever since Tim and I got married, we have shared a lot of meals (when we go out, we usually share an entree, rather than ordering separately). We sort of got into the habit of always offering the last bite to the other. Over the year-and-a-half of doing this, I have felt so much love between us. It really is the little things.
This last weekend we took a trip down to Portland, Oregon for Valentines day, and ate at Departure, one of our favorite restaurants. Since it's a special occasion type of restaurant for us, we ordered dessert after dinner, a delicious chocolate tarte. When we got down to the last bite, I pushed the plate over to Tim. He took his spoon, cut the last bite in half, ate his half, then sent the plate back over to me. I did the same. This continued until there was just a drop left, which he let me have. We shared more than just dessert, we shared many laughs and a beautiful memory.
This week I learned how big an effect sharing has in a relationship. Most importantly, sharing because we want to, not because it is expected. Tim put my wants and desires before his own, and I put his before my own. I learned that building habits of kindness right from the beginning are so important. This small act of sharing is something that gives the other a great sense of your love for them. It is an act of sacrificing something of yours for the other, how little it may be. When we share with each other, we are happy.
When I was a kid, my siblings and I sucked at sharing. When we had to split a doughnut, the rule was "you cut I choose", which forced us to try and split it perfectly down the middle, because that LAST thing any of us wanted was for the other sibling to have the bigger half. So kind, right?
As an adult, things have drastically changed. We now choose the smaller half, so that we can offer the larger half to the person we are sharing with. An expression of love. But Tim and I have formed our own, lovey-dovey version.
Ever since Tim and I got married, we have shared a lot of meals (when we go out, we usually share an entree, rather than ordering separately). We sort of got into the habit of always offering the last bite to the other. Over the year-and-a-half of doing this, I have felt so much love between us. It really is the little things.
This last weekend we took a trip down to Portland, Oregon for Valentines day, and ate at Departure, one of our favorite restaurants. Since it's a special occasion type of restaurant for us, we ordered dessert after dinner, a delicious chocolate tarte. When we got down to the last bite, I pushed the plate over to Tim. He took his spoon, cut the last bite in half, ate his half, then sent the plate back over to me. I did the same. This continued until there was just a drop left, which he let me have. We shared more than just dessert, we shared many laughs and a beautiful memory.
This week I learned how big an effect sharing has in a relationship. Most importantly, sharing because we want to, not because it is expected. Tim put my wants and desires before his own, and I put his before my own. I learned that building habits of kindness right from the beginning are so important. This small act of sharing is something that gives the other a great sense of your love for them. It is an act of sacrificing something of yours for the other, how little it may be. When we share with each other, we are happy.
Wednesday, December 25, 2013
The Greatest Gift
For the last year and a half, I have felt completely inadequate when it came to getting gifts for Tim. He would always one-up me! I got him a clock for his birthday, he got me a smartphone. I got him slippers for Christmas, he got me a laptop. It's been that way since the beginning, and I would always tell him that I felt like I didn't get him enough, though he would respond with "your love is the most important gift!"
Men are hard to shop for as it is, but when I ask Tim what he wants for Christmas or birthdays, he always tells me he has everything he wants! I've come to realize that all he wants, is for me to give him my time. Try new things with him, play games, go out on dates, etc. I'm only now realizing that material gifts don't matter to him as much as experiences and relationships. He cares more about building our relationship, and building memories, than he does about any gadget or game. Now there's the true meaning of Christmas!
This year, instead of making a list, and instead of getting each other gifts, we got one gift to share between us. It could have been a new TV, or it could have been a bag of popcorn. Either way, it is a gift that we will enjoy together. It goes beyond that material value of the object, it's so much more than just a present. We are finally on equal ground, and we get to experience that together.
I'm so glad Tim has been an example to me of what it means to give. It truly is the thought that counts. There is so much more to Christmas than presents. Its about spending time together, and remembering what we are truly celebrating. We celebrate the birth of a man who literally gave his life for us, and atoned for our sins so that we don't have to. Christ didn't get us a new smartphone, or a new laptop, he gave us a divine example to follow, and he gave us an opportunity to return to our Heavenly Father. Knowing I am loved, and that people really enjoy spending time with me is such a powerful gift.
Give the gift of time this season. Show people you love them, make memories together, enjoy each others company. This is not the season to get together with family out of obligation. It is the season to get together with family because you love them. It is the season to put aside all of the problems you might have, and forgive. It is the season to give second chances, and to love one another the way that God loves us.
Merry Christmas!
Men are hard to shop for as it is, but when I ask Tim what he wants for Christmas or birthdays, he always tells me he has everything he wants! I've come to realize that all he wants, is for me to give him my time. Try new things with him, play games, go out on dates, etc. I'm only now realizing that material gifts don't matter to him as much as experiences and relationships. He cares more about building our relationship, and building memories, than he does about any gadget or game. Now there's the true meaning of Christmas!
This year, instead of making a list, and instead of getting each other gifts, we got one gift to share between us. It could have been a new TV, or it could have been a bag of popcorn. Either way, it is a gift that we will enjoy together. It goes beyond that material value of the object, it's so much more than just a present. We are finally on equal ground, and we get to experience that together.
I'm so glad Tim has been an example to me of what it means to give. It truly is the thought that counts. There is so much more to Christmas than presents. Its about spending time together, and remembering what we are truly celebrating. We celebrate the birth of a man who literally gave his life for us, and atoned for our sins so that we don't have to. Christ didn't get us a new smartphone, or a new laptop, he gave us a divine example to follow, and he gave us an opportunity to return to our Heavenly Father. Knowing I am loved, and that people really enjoy spending time with me is such a powerful gift.
Give the gift of time this season. Show people you love them, make memories together, enjoy each others company. This is not the season to get together with family out of obligation. It is the season to get together with family because you love them. It is the season to put aside all of the problems you might have, and forgive. It is the season to give second chances, and to love one another the way that God loves us.
Merry Christmas!
Thursday, November 28, 2013
Best Friends Forever
When I was 14, my ward was planning a pioneer trek reenactment. As soon as I heard about it, and how it would last 4 days with no phones, no plumbing, long dresses and hiking in sage brush and tall grass, I had decided I was NOT going. It was a final decision. I hated tall grass, I actually had fear of it. I got allergies, I did not like the idea of being assigned to a group of people that I didn't know, and I especially didn't like the idea of being around boys who hadn't showered in 4 days. It basically just sounded awful, and the more I heard about it, the more I was sure I wasn't going.
For weeks, the signups were passed around, and each time I insisted that I wasn't interested. Now this is where it gets interesting; about a week after the final deadline, I suddenly got the desire to go. I have no idea when my mind changed, or what made me decide to actually do it, but I'm sure it was God nudging me in the right direction. Even a week late, they let me sign up, and I had to rush to get everything together.
When I arrived, at 5 a.m. on the day of departure, my worst fear came true: I was placed in a group with literally nobody that I knew. Well, as the rest of the group arrived, I looked over and noticed someone. I recognized him. Ah, yes! I have someone in my ward at least! I didn't know his name, but I was pretty sure he was the older brother of one of my friends.
This guy that I saw, was Tim. I didn't know then (though a week later I was sure of it) that he would become my very best friend, and then one day my husband! Whenever I think about it, I wonder if I would have met him had I not gone on Trek. Or if he had told me the truth about his age when I first met him (he told everyone he was 17, when really he was 18). When I think about it, every little thing that happened, lead up to us becoming what we are now.
That is what I am thankful for this Thanksgiving. I am so thankful that I was inspired to go, and I am so thankful that we were assigned to the same group, with no one else we knew. That trip gave me so much. I met my husband there, and for that I will always be thankful.
Above is one of the pictures taken at Trek. When I look at all the pictures of our group, Tim and I are always next to each other. You could say I was drawn to him :)
For weeks, the signups were passed around, and each time I insisted that I wasn't interested. Now this is where it gets interesting; about a week after the final deadline, I suddenly got the desire to go. I have no idea when my mind changed, or what made me decide to actually do it, but I'm sure it was God nudging me in the right direction. Even a week late, they let me sign up, and I had to rush to get everything together.
When I arrived, at 5 a.m. on the day of departure, my worst fear came true: I was placed in a group with literally nobody that I knew. Well, as the rest of the group arrived, I looked over and noticed someone. I recognized him. Ah, yes! I have someone in my ward at least! I didn't know his name, but I was pretty sure he was the older brother of one of my friends.
This guy that I saw, was Tim. I didn't know then (though a week later I was sure of it) that he would become my very best friend, and then one day my husband! Whenever I think about it, I wonder if I would have met him had I not gone on Trek. Or if he had told me the truth about his age when I first met him (he told everyone he was 17, when really he was 18). When I think about it, every little thing that happened, lead up to us becoming what we are now.
That is what I am thankful for this Thanksgiving. I am so thankful that I was inspired to go, and I am so thankful that we were assigned to the same group, with no one else we knew. That trip gave me so much. I met my husband there, and for that I will always be thankful.
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
I Thought I Was Past That!
On our anniversary trip to Disneyland, we found out that married couples are considered "newly-weds" for 24 months. I thought I was past that!
Well, since I'm still a newly-wed, I figured I would continue the whole "Things I learn As a Newly-Wed" thing.
So we've hit this point in our marriage, where people no longer say "congratulations", but rather, they make some strange comments... Comments like, "They're newly-weds, that's why they still talk to each other," and "You're considered a newly-wed for 2 years, then it's all down hill from there!"
This sort of bothered me. Why would anyone say something like that? I feel like our culture has some very mixed feelings about marriage. Half the time people are excited about it, I mean, look at Pinterest. And the other half of the time, people seem to think marriage is just a ball and chain.
One thing I have certainly learned, is that marriage is a beautiful gift. It doesnt "bind" you unless you don't want to be in it. When you love the person you marry, marriage frees you. It is the ultimate expression of love and trust. It is so much more than a contract.
I intend to keep thinking of my marriage as a blessing. I won't let routine make this union any less special. I was blessed to find the love of my life at such a young age, and despite what American culture seems to think of young marriage, I feel like I am in the right place.
One of the most important things in any relationship, is to value it. Nurture the relationship, and always feel grateful. Having one person by your side for eternity is such an amazing thing. I will never be without a best friend. When I said yes, I made my choice verbally and legally. Each day I must make my choice spiritually.
Well, since I'm still a newly-wed, I figured I would continue the whole "Things I learn As a Newly-Wed" thing.
So we've hit this point in our marriage, where people no longer say "congratulations", but rather, they make some strange comments... Comments like, "They're newly-weds, that's why they still talk to each other," and "You're considered a newly-wed for 2 years, then it's all down hill from there!"
This sort of bothered me. Why would anyone say something like that? I feel like our culture has some very mixed feelings about marriage. Half the time people are excited about it, I mean, look at Pinterest. And the other half of the time, people seem to think marriage is just a ball and chain.
One thing I have certainly learned, is that marriage is a beautiful gift. It doesnt "bind" you unless you don't want to be in it. When you love the person you marry, marriage frees you. It is the ultimate expression of love and trust. It is so much more than a contract.
I intend to keep thinking of my marriage as a blessing. I won't let routine make this union any less special. I was blessed to find the love of my life at such a young age, and despite what American culture seems to think of young marriage, I feel like I am in the right place.
One of the most important things in any relationship, is to value it. Nurture the relationship, and always feel grateful. Having one person by your side for eternity is such an amazing thing. I will never be without a best friend. When I said yes, I made my choice verbally and legally. Each day I must make my choice spiritually.
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
My One and Only
In my teen years, I didn't really buy into the idea that there was only one person for me. I still don't think that's the case for most people, but dang, my life just wouldn't be complete if I'd never met Tim. Even when we were engaged, I still believed that love is a choice, you are capable or being happy with basically anyone. But when we got married, and over the course of the year, I've realized that Tim is the only person I can truly be myself with.
Tim and I have fun. He brings out the crazy, fun-loving child in me. He is more than just a best friend, we were destined to meet in this life and be together forever. There is no one in the whole world like him. He is perfect for me.
Being married has taught me so much about love; I don't even know where to begin. He has taught me trust, patience, generosity, sincerity, tenderness, and so much more. I've grown so much as a person, and yet we can still just let go and be kids. Marriage has taught me that I don't always have to be so serious. I'm allowed to be silly, I'm allowed to be myself. It has taught me that I can express myself, and I can feel what I feel and not be ashamed, because he will always support and love me.
Marriage has also taught me that time is precious. It goes by way too fast, and we lose so much of it looking forward, and focusing on what we want, and what we plan to do. It's so easy to get distracted with counting down til Friday, when we really need to just look at where we currently are, and soak it up! Life is too short, time goes by too fast, we get older, and we let all this happen without notice.
My focus on our second year of marriage is to take time each and every day to look where I am standing, take it in, and enjoy it. Good days and bad. Because I have everything I could ever hope for in a husband, and that alone should make each day the best day of my life. This next year, I am going to write down one thing each day that made life amazing. Amazing. Because even on the worst days, it only takes one moment, with the right attitude, to make it amazing.
Tim and I are 11 days away from our first anniversary, and I feel as though I have let it go by as if it were just a good year. It have been amazing, and I have let almost every day end either good, or okay. I have my very own "The One", and I need to make sure each day reflects how happy I am with him.
Life is short, and life is good. Make it amazing, and make it count.
Tim and I have fun. He brings out the crazy, fun-loving child in me. He is more than just a best friend, we were destined to meet in this life and be together forever. There is no one in the whole world like him. He is perfect for me.
Being married has taught me so much about love; I don't even know where to begin. He has taught me trust, patience, generosity, sincerity, tenderness, and so much more. I've grown so much as a person, and yet we can still just let go and be kids. Marriage has taught me that I don't always have to be so serious. I'm allowed to be silly, I'm allowed to be myself. It has taught me that I can express myself, and I can feel what I feel and not be ashamed, because he will always support and love me.
Marriage has also taught me that time is precious. It goes by way too fast, and we lose so much of it looking forward, and focusing on what we want, and what we plan to do. It's so easy to get distracted with counting down til Friday, when we really need to just look at where we currently are, and soak it up! Life is too short, time goes by too fast, we get older, and we let all this happen without notice.
My focus on our second year of marriage is to take time each and every day to look where I am standing, take it in, and enjoy it. Good days and bad. Because I have everything I could ever hope for in a husband, and that alone should make each day the best day of my life. This next year, I am going to write down one thing each day that made life amazing. Amazing. Because even on the worst days, it only takes one moment, with the right attitude, to make it amazing.
Tim and I are 11 days away from our first anniversary, and I feel as though I have let it go by as if it were just a good year. It have been amazing, and I have let almost every day end either good, or okay. I have my very own "The One", and I need to make sure each day reflects how happy I am with him.
Life is short, and life is good. Make it amazing, and make it count.
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Day One: The Stuff That No One Tells You
During our engagement, a lot of people liked to throw advice our way, about marriage as well as the wedding. But there are several things that no one told me about the wedding, that I think I would have liked to know.
1: That first dance that's so romantic and beautiful? So. Awkward. Seriously, unless you learned some legitimate steps, and have a killer performance, its awkward. Everyone stares at you, and takes pictures, and you have to endure three to four minutes of that, while repeating the three moves you know. Yes, it is beautiful and romantic, but mostly for the people watching.
2: Pictures. You will likely look like a moron in half of them. NO ONE told me anything like this. I was under the impression that, since it was my wedding day, my lack of ability to look amazing in pictures would be put on hold. Nope. Still not photogenic. On the plus side, my hair and makeup were done professionally, and I always had a killer background, to even the ones where my double chin snuck in, I can still pretend the picture is flawless.
3: Kissing. This is the only day, like ever, that people want to see you kiss. Seriously, it is so weird. If you're not one for PDA, this can be really awkward, and even a little irritating, especially when people ask you to kiss. And even when you think no one is really watching, someone is probably taking a picture. It's like for one day you are a celebrity, so unless you love attention, get ready to be bombarded with smiling faces and congratulatory hugs.
4: And this one is more about the next day. Don't plan anything before 3:00 p.m. the next day. Because the one thing people actually do tell you, is that you won't get any sleep the night before the wedding. And then you throw in the fact that you won't actually fall asleep on the wedding night until the wee hours of the morning, so yeah, there will be a lot of sleep to catch up on. Tim and I planned to go to Newport Beach the day after the wedding, (it was only a five minute drive from the hotel) and we barely made it in time to see the sun set.
So there you have it, a small list of things that no one ever tells you about the wedding day. So my advice would be to pick a short song, or learn some killer moves, keep your picture-ruiners in mind (if you have a sneaky double chin like me, just remember that, and keep the angles in mind that make it show), just endure all the googly-eyed stares as you kiss, 'cause there is no way to avoid that, and like I said, don't make plans for the next morning. Your wedding day is the most exciting and beautiful day of your like (thus far), and you don't want to deal with the stress of getting up early the next day, so take your time. Really soak it in. Its not about checking items off your to-do list; all the planning stopped the moment you woke up (or just got out of bed, if you didn't sleep) to get ready for your wedding. You planned for months, now go and enjoy your stress-free vacation!
1: That first dance that's so romantic and beautiful? So. Awkward. Seriously, unless you learned some legitimate steps, and have a killer performance, its awkward. Everyone stares at you, and takes pictures, and you have to endure three to four minutes of that, while repeating the three moves you know. Yes, it is beautiful and romantic, but mostly for the people watching.
2: Pictures. You will likely look like a moron in half of them. NO ONE told me anything like this. I was under the impression that, since it was my wedding day, my lack of ability to look amazing in pictures would be put on hold. Nope. Still not photogenic. On the plus side, my hair and makeup were done professionally, and I always had a killer background, to even the ones where my double chin snuck in, I can still pretend the picture is flawless.
3: Kissing. This is the only day, like ever, that people want to see you kiss. Seriously, it is so weird. If you're not one for PDA, this can be really awkward, and even a little irritating, especially when people ask you to kiss. And even when you think no one is really watching, someone is probably taking a picture. It's like for one day you are a celebrity, so unless you love attention, get ready to be bombarded with smiling faces and congratulatory hugs.
4: And this one is more about the next day. Don't plan anything before 3:00 p.m. the next day. Because the one thing people actually do tell you, is that you won't get any sleep the night before the wedding. And then you throw in the fact that you won't actually fall asleep on the wedding night until the wee hours of the morning, so yeah, there will be a lot of sleep to catch up on. Tim and I planned to go to Newport Beach the day after the wedding, (it was only a five minute drive from the hotel) and we barely made it in time to see the sun set.
So there you have it, a small list of things that no one ever tells you about the wedding day. So my advice would be to pick a short song, or learn some killer moves, keep your picture-ruiners in mind (if you have a sneaky double chin like me, just remember that, and keep the angles in mind that make it show), just endure all the googly-eyed stares as you kiss, 'cause there is no way to avoid that, and like I said, don't make plans for the next morning. Your wedding day is the most exciting and beautiful day of your like (thus far), and you don't want to deal with the stress of getting up early the next day, so take your time. Really soak it in. Its not about checking items off your to-do list; all the planning stopped the moment you woke up (or just got out of bed, if you didn't sleep) to get ready for your wedding. You planned for months, now go and enjoy your stress-free vacation!
A worthy example of number 2.
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